Disclaimer: This was written in a prior time (this past weekend), so sorry for the confusing verb tense! I do realize it is Monday.

Saturday nights get me feeling some kind of way.

I don't know why, but every time a Saturday comes rolling around, I never know whether I am happy or upset, because it means the weekend is already halfway over. However, this time I am in a downtown coffee shop preparing my next blog post and being grateful for this Saturday because I realized I have prepared next to nothing in regards to this next week of school. Oops. It was a huge relief to start school up again though, because I found that I missed the experience of being with people again who I could grow and learn with. Plus it was easier on me to make friends with strangers in class, rather than in the more unconventional ways that I tend to gravitate towards. Such as where I like to suggest hanging out sometime with strangers who I meet pretty much anywhere, most of whom I find I like their personalities after 5 minutes. Not that I have ever regretted doing that, but I would rather not stress out over whether someone thinks I am a total weirdo or not.

Moving along.

On my music spotlight page, I talked about one of my new favorite artists, Sabrina Claudio! She is a goddess and so inspiring, and I listen to her music all of the time, mostly to make me feel like a strong empowered woman who can discover every part of herself. This might be a strange topic to write about, but I really find it an interesting point of conversation to think about an individual's sensuality and how they communicate romantically. By an individual, I mean my personal self. I am not going into detail and don't want to scare anyone off, but I think it is extremely important that as I go on the journey of this Earth life discovering who I am, that I make sure I can understand every part of who I am and the way I tick. If I am confused on myself, then how can I seriously make informed decisions and shape what my ideals should be based on what is best for my life? The human experience is so important and I find that allowing myself to make mistakes without totally destroying my conscience, or just being open to life and trying to really delve into my decision making, helps me to understand where I'll be happiest. Whether it is career wise, which city I want to live, or the type of companionship I want in my life. Somehow time stands still while I start to feel slightly stuck in figuring out a direction for my life, but I am learning to feel less panicky about that, and just more aware that I am 22 years old and that I can take this time to decide on everything for myself.

Black Mirror on Netflix may or may not be to blame for this updated mindset of mine.

It isn't like I haven't already been thinking of discovering every aspect of myself, but Black Mirror puts a scarily accurate projection of what the future will look like in this world. All of the new technology that will almost redefine what it means to be human, people being so involved in each other's lives through social media, and then human relationships becoming something more analytical and defined than ever, it would be wise to know myself inside and out. Especially not to shy away from the parts that I may be afraid of understanding better. Food for thought my friends.

I wish all of you a lovely rest of your weekend and as always, thank you for sticking with me on this journey and taking the time to read through my thoughts and, most often, my feelings for life.

Sincerely,

Jessi Hope