What is Love?

Hi wonderful readers,

What a time period it has been since I last wrote some thoughts! I always think I'm getting a hold of shifting timelines and changes in my life until the unexpected always happens...to the best of us might I add. One thing that has been on my mind though is what it really means to love. In fact, I don't know how I haven't written about this before? Not that I know of at least. A large part of this inspiration came when I was watching the show 500 Days of Summer, which it turns out I had never seen all the way through before! Loved it for so many reasons, but the main one was that I was able to see the perspectives in a whole new light.

Ok here is where I have to say SLIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD

I used to think Zoe Deschanel's character, Summer, was the "villain" of the story for having changing opinions on what she wanted and then ending up in a committed relationship with someone other than Joseph Gordon Leavitt's character Tom (I mean, come on, how do you leave him??). Yet there was a profound moment where the two main characters are talking after the end of their relationship, and Tom simply asks her straight up why she did what she did, like dumping him because she didn't want a serious relationship and labels, and then not long after getting engaged to someone else. Valid question! Yet Summer stated simply that she seemed to find what she wasn't sure about with Tom in someone else, which caught even her by surprise. It was clear she cared for Tom deeply and wanted to give him what he wanted, but in the end, she had to stand up for herself and give what respect she could to Tom by not dragging him through her indecision anymore.

Everything that happened with the chain of events seemed to actually be for a reason, something cosmic, unexpected. There was a high chance that Summer may have never even met her dream man if she had been with Tom still or gone anywhere other than the specific coffee shop that she chose to read a book at. In the following scene, we see a short but profound chain of events that then happened to Tom when he met his (what we can only assume) soulmate Autumn when he was least expecting it.

Now the main reason I wanted to discuss some scenes in 500 Days of Summer is that love is never what we expect, nor is it something that can always be explained with a simple explanation, wrapped neatly and nicely in a ribbon and decorative box. I can honestly say that looking back, I seemed to see the definition of love in whatever light my current relationships were. Either it was loving someone through the shit they put me through as a sign that I was needed in that person's life to help them heal their toxic traits, or it was forcing myself to love someone in the way they wanted but never feeling the authenticity in my own soul and therefore sacrificing my own happiness for someone else. On the flip side, I've loved people for the wrong reasons before and had to come to terms with my own toxicity while trying to hold onto people that were no longer supposed to be in my life. I've made many mistakes in love by projecting my own insecurities and misgivings onto others, not communicating what I really wanted, and just overall not taking the time to grow and know me before committing to someone else's world.

With the rising of some malicious and misleading blog posts by an ex-lover that was sent to me, I went through a mini dark night of the soul again, reliving pain and confusion over a relationship long dormant. One of my proudest moments was when I finally could see my own worth through my OWN lenses and not base who I am off of old descriptions of a younger, hurting, and confused me. I can take responsibility for all of my actions throughout my life and I hope you all can too, but that is where we draw the line. Apologize and make amends in the way that feels right to your soul but do not allow others to define who you are based on their personal opinions...that all too often are skewed and with ill intent anyways. We are all in this human experience together, after all, and emotions run deep. Unfortunately, many of us will either encounter being hurt by someone else or do the hurting unknowingly or knowingly.

By all means, may we learn to have open minds and take responsibility when we harm someone else, but by no means should we allow someone else's ego or even our own drag our healing journey through the mud. Attempting to erase our growth and learning and bring us back to a dark unhealed place. Let us all be better, kinder, honest, and communicative about how we've been hurt, how we've hurt others, and how we can reconcile to move forward or move apart. Put to rest what already has been laid down, and keep shining. Authentically and as beautifully as you can, we all deserve to manifest our happiest and truest lives full of unconditional love that does not require permission for us to heal or reinvent ourselves.

So that was a long one but if you've read to the end I highly appreciate it. This post was one from a very deep place in my soul so thank you for your kindness and willingness to make room for my experience.

HAVE A LOVELY WEEK!

Sincerely,

Jessi Hope

(p.s. enjoy some cute photos when Max and I ran away to the mountains this past weekend☀️🤪)