Bonjour mon amies!

Lately I feel as if time is flying by faster than I can blink. It was just yesterday that I thought 2019 would never end, with dead ends at every turn for work, growth opportunities diminished, and every time I had a lightbulb of an idea, I would get frustrated that so many other bulbs were dark. Time, it seemed, was not on my side and each day draaggeeed.

Now, revolutions within people, society, and many things that once seemed like solid ground, are bursting at the seams. It is actually quite incredible. So much change that I (and most likely many of you) have never had the chance to participate in! While on the other hand, I can't help but sit for a beat and feel so helpless and powerless to the suffering of so many people in the country under oppressive systems or being questioned at every turn for things that shouldn't be up for debate...sexual assault *cough cough*...Either way. Time waits for no one and now is my time to really make those moves to do what I can to at least help those in my orbit and hopefully beyond. Make sense? That may have been filled with too many comparisons that border on the imaginative. Who knows.

ANYWAYS

The past few weeks I've had to actually slow myself down to try and bring clarity to how I feel. Not just with the climate of the country or world, but with me. In fact, the past few weeks I have slowed down when I really could've have benefitted with personally checking in months ago. Whether I was ready or not, I had to come to terms with some pretty intense events that happened close to home, and finding out that once again parts of my life were not as I thought they were. I just wish that things could just be they way they were said, yah know? That there wasn't always underlying meanings, those that like playing with the truth, and that I could just have some form of normalcy without needing to question everything said to me. It's never an easy thing to have to clearly and deliberately draw lines with those I know, but there is really no way around it if I plan to maintain and grow strong relationships that I can trust and rely on. Including keeping out those that just provide confusion, misinformation, turmoil, and just too many "I don't know"s for my liking. Ha.

I imagine that I am not the only one feeling heavy with choosing myself first but it's a necessary growing pain. I really hate those sometimes. But as I mentioned, time is not stopping and I have reached my first quarter century with what feels like not enough absolutes to make sense of my world. So the drive to push through and to be active in things that I value is what I'm learning can move more mountains than I originally thought. I've been blessed to find a workspace where I truly care about dedicating my time and knowledge with leadership that pushes the boundaries of diversity and the belief in what we can do. I'm learning that "what I can do" is more than just a definition, but what I shoot for every day in cherishing every point of growth no matter how small. Par exemple, I was crying the other day while doing yoga since I struggle with balancing practices. As a perfectionist, it's maddening. But instead of quitting for the day, I still pushed through and practiced stretches that I am working on. Then I sat down after and cried some more, haha.

LET ME HIT MY POINT.

I hope that all of us can continue to remember what's important, that the sky is no longer the limit for what we can accomplish, and that it is ok to be scared to change. But I do not recommend staying in that fear. Real change happens when we show up and push through each day to make even those small changes to better our lives and others.

Food for thought my readers, and please remember that human rights, equality, justice, and a level playing field should be accessible to everyone. Regardless of socio-economic, ethnic, or religious backgrounds. We have the momentum to keep educating ourselves and teaching our friends and families about the good and bad of history so that we can create history that no longer carries poisonous ideologies.

Have a beautiful week✨✨✨

Sincerely,

Jessi Hope