Boundaries

Hi my wonderfully patient readers,

I feel as if I blink and so much time has gone by without me writing even a paragraph! Of course, life is happening every second of the day. I admittedly am not the greatest at remembering to document the epiphanies or bursts of creativity in the moment, I feel as if I need to refine every thought till it flows. Sometimes though, you have to take a step into vulnerability and just be yourself, let the energy go, and let it be.

So here I am, writing about one of the most essential points to success: setting boundaries.

Now, most of us know the basics of boundaries (such as setting time for just yourself without others stepping into it). However, I have been going over the question in my head about what boundaries I set with the relationships in my life. I never knew that I could be festering so much unnecessary stress because I did not set a precedent with others for how much time I invest in their lives and how I desired to be treated. Who knew I could set a boundary to make sure I was being treated with respect for my feelings and life? For some odd reason I have always thought that setting a boundary and telling someone straight up how I am feeling and if I do or do not appreciate the way I am being treated, was somehow mean.

Now let me take a second to talk some personality theory directly to my other fellow INFP's, feelers, and just anyone else who has trouble standing up to say you do not want to do something solely because you do not want to. IT IS MORE THAN OKAY TO SAY NO. That is all part of setting boundaries in your life. That does not mean you don't love or care for someone, but it does mean that you deserve to love and care for yourself first, because how can you love and support someone to the fullest extent when you are smothering out your needs in the process? We all deserve the peace of mind, trust, caring, and acceptance for who we are, our goals, and what will serve us. At the end of the day, we want to be standing tall knowing that we stood up for ourselves and allowed room for others to do the same, and we can support each other so much better that way.

Make sense?

Speaking personally, I have always struggled with not giving in to others' wants just because I wanted to avoid contention. Then of course I always found myself so depressed or anxious because I was giving others parts of me without the same in return, and it was exhausting. Truly. So reluctantly I arrived at the conclusion that I had to say no, express my feelings, and make sure I was being heard and respected first. The boundary was laid down. Then moving forward, relationships have a chance to be so much healthier and stronger because I made sure my needs were made aware. In turn, my boundaries can be respected and allow me to give soo much MORE because I have so much more to give when I feel like I'm being respected and cared for in return. Which is not selfish!

So all in all, boundaries are fantastic, and the longer you ignore needing space, time, awareness for what you feel, etc. the more stressed you will find yourself (especially during the holidays when people may be coming from multiple directions). Already I have found more peace of mind just by saying how I feel and making sure others respect that.

Here's to this short and sweet post and the start of what we can make a great week! As always, thank you for coming through and reading my posts, I feel so much support just by you taking the time to read to the end.

Sincerely,

Jessi Hope