Emotions are Confusing

HELLO ALL!

What a wild wave this life is hitting as right now. Of course my emotions have been up and down through situations for a while now, but with everything else coming to light about child trafficking rings, social injustice enacted by our sworn protectors of the law, the true issues with social and economic disparities, and so much more...it can be so overwheelmmiinng. How do we choose what to focus on? How can I explain over and over that one is not more important than the other, but that we have to learn how to compartmentalize and move through each with the same vigor to rebuild the systems in place? It is not easy. It makes it more frustrating when some thinking among humans is to shift the focus rather than learning to fight for issues that have been in place for hundreds of years, and going from there. Still, as I mentioned, it is not the simplest thing to try and wrap our minds around.

Well as a personal update (moving just to the side of my thought processes of above), I have never worked so hard to try and internalize and do real introspection of what I want out of this life than I do now. This includes being so immersed that it has started to become detrimental to my growth rather than helpful, because I am overthinking, overanalyzing, and disconnecting from what I have in front of me. Literally every thing anyone says, does, or even in the slightest seems to be about me, I will go over again and again.

Don't get me wrong, having an active imagination for all the possibilities is a trait that I value in myself. It keeps me on my toes. It helps me to manifest new opportunities. But what is the line? When do I know that I am dreaming too much? Well a simple answer is when I've disconnected from my partner because I have begun to hold my relationship to the standards of what I imagine, and basically throw out the logic of all things relating to gratitude. Yikes that is hard to mention. I never like appearing as anything other than a realist, but I would rather be honest with myself than continuing to believe that every other field of life is worth abandoning what I actually have for the 'what ifs' and thinking 'it is my DESTINY to pursue a fantasy'.

At the same tiiimme...ha...I cannot get over seeing everything from both sides of a fence. So I wonder how to know when it is the right time to take a chance and chase some exciting ideas. Those moments can be filled with spontaneity that leads to real happiness and success. Your girl believes in fate and that everything happens for a reason. The universe and karma can bring people and chances into our lives in an instant.

Do I have answers for knowing the difference between growing where we are at, versus taking a chance on something else? Not entirely. But I can say that in situations such as what I've encountered in the last few months of utter indecision, it really can benefit you to take a step back from yourself. Get out of your head. Give thanks for all that you have in the moment and continue with relationships and plans you have already developed and go from there. Eventually your resolve in a path will come forth and that can provide major strength to your character and momentum. I have experienced this firsthand, and loved being able to grow closer to my partner as I build good habits (such as the simple concept of consistent exercise) and choose our growing roots every day.

SO, I wish you all a fantastic week, and if you are experiencing any of the above confusing emotions that I am working with, truly take a step back out of your head. My personality type struggles hardcore with that. I just want to know everything and everyone! Leave no stone unturned. For the time being though, we will all benefit from giving thanks for our current situation (even if it isn't the easiest) and manifest clarity. We got this.

Sincerely,

Jessi Hope